Snapshots
by mizamiko
Summary: Points in time in the Karneval manga/anime in the past, present, future. Drabbles, supposedly.
1. Kata

**A piece of my soul given for safekeeping**

An empty training hall after student curfew.

A lone figure in the middle of an unlit room.

Step after step he moved on the cold metal floor. Dark shirt clung wetly as sweat traced paths down a slender neck and down the dip of the lower back.

(walking stance, punch right to the face)

It was a dance that he knew from long ago. A time before monsters and when he still walked free under blue skies and open fields.

(forward stance, upward block left)

Now, this was all that was left for him to remember the past with. A part of him, locked away, only to appear amidst closed doors and darkened rooms. He had two left feet, but this, at least, he knew not to trip up. More than a hundred repetitions had ensured that at least yet in times long past he remembered loathing every minute of it.

(back stance, chest block right)

When he moved he didn't need to think. His hands and feet knew what needed to be done. This was a far cry from when he just started. Back then, he could all but wheeze and cough after just a warm up. Now, his breathing barely changed.

(back stance, knife block left)

This used to be a chore, now it calms him whenever he let his body just go through the motions, freeing him to think and assess things that have come to pass. Even if each step makes him ache for people long gone.

(natural stance, end)

"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."

He remembers reading said passage. At the time it held no meaning. Now, there was a line that he grazed ever so often. And the words somehow haunt him. Sometimes he wonders if someday he will be forced to cross it, and if by that time will he even care. And that scared him more than he was willing to admit.

He had already done much in the name of humanity, dirtied his hands for the 'peace' that other live in, inflicted pain to gain knowledge that would benefit the cause. He knew that no amount of water could ever wash away the blood on his hands. But, he also knew, that he will do it again if it meant that somewhere, somehow,

someone else didn't have to do it.

* * *

A student watched his professor move through the academy training hall like he was meant to be there rather than the laboratories and examination rooms that he was known to haunt. It sent chills up his spine. The harmless face that he teased and taunted was skilled enough, though maybe not strong enough, to stand up to him, yet has never had.

The beauty that was so delicious to anger could actually do damage.

He didn't know if he wanted to know this side of the taciturn man that has intrigued him for his incredible intellect and his unexpected kindness. A mind so sharp that even the government acknowledged it. A disposition so cold that many perceive him no longer human. A kindness so surprising that he wonders why no one has yet hounded the man.

As he was now, he knew, he had little chance to make the other his. But one day.

* * *

Z Round Table

"Do you really think it's safe to let the boy come into contact with a SSS rank personnel?"

"It's a gamble."

"The boy holds much promise."

"He is too dangerous, already so strong for one so young."

"Cradle cells seem to be compatible greatly with him."

"I am against it."

"This has possibilities."

"They will eventually work with each other."

"Circus did not initiate any of this, we did."

"Your brother had better keep him safe Tokitatsu."

* * *

AN: Err… this was supposed to be a drabble… It didn't want to stay as one.

Quote from Nietzche, not mine!

Finally wrote something for the fandom! Yay! Love their interaction. Sorry to anyone who hate the pairing. Flames will be used warm my candle diffuser! Ciao!


	2. Complete Idiots Guide…

It is a well-known fact that Akari was a being of such high intellect that mere mortals like Research Tower staff consider him as another specie of man akin to Varuga but prettier to look at. It was also a well gossiped fact that virtually nothing was impossible for the doctor.

Any detractors would have had a hay-day had they come in his office right at that moment.

The twitch of his brow should be the first telltale sign that all was not well.

He wonders if the second Airship's captain had a hand in the book that was discretely placed on his work table.

The pink apron though...

AN: And this just for fun.


	3. To Heal

It hurt more than he was willing to show, not that there was anyone to notice.

He was actually glad he was not leaving a trail of blood in his wake. That would have been embarrassing.

The quick patch-up that he did on the way back had some of the gauze soaked through. His clothes were ripped at places as well. It was most undignified; the children had better be asleep and not see this.

The bruises were not too bad; at least it could all be hidden under his shirt this time. Any bandages that he would need should not be noticeable under the required suite for his work. He could work around the stiffness from his wounds; a low dose pain reliever would be enough. It would not do if he took a stronger reliever; he might forget the wounds and bleed through the bandaging until blood wets his clothes. No matter how tough and jaded his students were, finding your teacher bleeding in front of you was not something that should happen. For all that this was an academy for circus hopefuls, this was still meant as a safe place for the children.

It was easy enough to slip back into his apartment, but that was the last place he wanted to be. To 'leave no trace' of his weakness was just as important as his domineering image. The academy clinic would be empty at this time, or should be. He did not even need the light, he has done this before and he knew he will do so again, and soon. Circus still needs him on the field, at least until this next batch of children graduates it seems. The less evidence that he used the facility the better considering he was about to use quite a bit of bandages.

"I would have come directly to your office right after I finished cleaning up." He spoke softly to the supposed empty room.

The squeak of wheels on the tiled floor was the answer to his statement. "It would be a shame for your beloved students to see you so disheveled. They might fall in love with the other side of Doctor Akari."

"Kindly do not even joke about that. I have enough of those brainless fans twittering about. Though I doubt if my 'callousness' would ever endear me to any of them, I am not deaf to their chatter."

A hearty laugh came from the man seated on the chair by the nurses table. The shadows hid much of his features but the glint of his glasses reflected the moons light as his laughter rocked him to and fro.

Some gauze, bandages, antiseptic wipes and plasters from the cabinet to his left, some cream and saline from the next cabinet, and a pair of scissors from the table beside the laughing man, he sat himself on the empty bed and started taking stock of himself. No stitches, that much he had assessed. Skin closures, bandages, and cream would get him started on the healing.

"Do you need help?"

"I am alright" he returned.

"An amazing feat that you were able to get away from your bookends" the other observed. "They've been discreet, but you of course, would have noticed. And had you not informed me I would not have either. They've become really good."

"I look forward to when they graduate from the Circus course. Maybe, even captains of Circus' first and second ships," he answered back, not missing a beat in his cleaning and wrapping.

"You have high expectations."

"They both have incredible potential. Both will be a credit to the National Defense Agency. If they ever get over their irritating stalker habit. Tea time my hinny, they just want to drink."

Another round of laughter came from the other man. A shake of the head and quiet "do you mean their obsession of you?"

"It is unhealthy for ones so young" was his only reply. "There are others they can concentrate on."

"By the time they graduate, the research tower will be ready to take you in and your position in the government will be officially announced."

"And my priorities and goals will be rearranged and I will most likely not be sent on these types of cases. There will be no opportunity to stalk."

"I doubt your bookends would allow you that freedom if your prediction is correct. As it is, if they ever find out where you go to in the evenings without them..."

"I do what needs to be done to help people. Children and students need not to concern themselves of their professors life. People do not need to like me for me to help them. Those two have no say in what I need to do, so that is a moot point."

The soft snip of the scissors echoed in the silent room as Akari concentrated on the re-bandaging of his wounds. He had done this before, both on himself and others. And with practice, as they say, everything becomes easy.

"Do not tell them," he warned without looking up. "Those two.. I dislike them. They know too much."

"You don't like it that they, students, are pushing boundaries to become protectors." He answered shrewdly. "It's too early. Students should play happily as students while they still can. Is that not it?"

"They irritate me. Both seem to be under a misconception that I am too naive and am in need of protection. And, I quote 'for someone who taught us that low amounts of danger hones survival instincts, you seem to have skipped that part in your own life' end quote."

Laughter rang from the other again. "Yes, you do give that impression. It's that honest, straight forward way of yours. You like what you like and you dislike what you dislike and you see no point in hiding that. Even if saying so would get you into trouble."

"What's wrong with saying your mind?"

"It makes you seem as if you only know blacks and whites."

"There are no true blacks and whites. They are all just different shades of grey."

"Yet, you give the impression of a white."

"When in reality I am a patchwork of grey..."

"They say liars and schemers are most comfortable with honest people. The fact that you say what you think and feel without holding back is refreshing for most of us who are used to dealing with 'falsehoods' as they say. You brought it out of those two, unknowingly, but still. Take responsibility little Akari."

A soft 'hump' was his only reply as he re-donned his ripped shirt. "It is not my responsibility to keep track of children who believe themselves capable of protecting others. I am but a lecturer here."

"Very well. Report."

AN: From one of the flashbacks Akari was shown accompanying Circus ground operations. Let's just say with the way he spoke to Hirato and Iva and the way he acted in one of the arcs it felt like he was almost an old hand.

BTW I should really remove the drabble label... It really isn't working out... (1000 words instead of 100)


	4. To Guard

It was not odd for a faculty member to be seen with students. This was, in fact, much encourage by most of the faculty. It was a show of their willingness to answer the questions of their students, be it academic or personal. Though the academy is divided into Circus, Information Management, R&D, and Life Medicine courses, they all connect to each other and each need the others. So it was also not so unusual to see IM faculty with R&D students or Circus students with R&D faculty. Oddly though, most if not all, students and faculty, try to stay away from the Life Medicine area.

Ergo, it was highly unusual, to say the least, to have two Circus students, uninjured one's mind, to be seen with a Life Medicine faculty. Willingly. This was not to say that Life Medicine students and faculty were shunned. It was just that, much like the R&D course, they had their own world.

Most Life Medicine students also take some R&D units and apply it in their field, which is probably the most interaction they get outside of their field, of their own volition more often than not. Not that they were hermits. They can be out in the field as much as the Circus and the Information Management course, at times even more if they work completely on the field. In fact, all other courses impinge on their building more than they on others.

Again. Just. Not. Willingly.

So when two of the honours class students of the Circus course parked themselves behind the most intimidating, tactless, and outspoken faculty member in the Life Medicine course, it would normally catch people's attention. Normally. As Akari was in the middle of inoculating petri dishes with his latest batch of samples, he was alone in the micro-laboratory. Not to mention it was past normal class time, the halls were virtually deserted.

"Now this is surprising. Our Akari is breaking Academy rules." The smooth tenor grated on Akari's hearing. "Aren't you supposed to be an example to us delinquent Circus students?"

"Come now Hirato" a deeper voice answered. "Maybe our little Akari is just too busy that he suddenly, conveniently, disappeared from the whole Academy grounds. Conveniently losing two of Circus' best students."

"I have no need of people who needlessly prattle when important tasks needs to be done. Students from the Circus course truly have a lot of spare time that they need to bother those who are very busy." Akari answered in a huff as he deliberately kept his back to the two students. Hands automatically sterilizing the loop for the next dish, his body in autopilot on ingrained procedures.

His bookends were back.

He didn't need to turn to know what he will find behind him. Priorities, of course. As a researcher, he has found that sometimes instincts need to be suppressed for more favorable outcomes to come to fruition. Sometimes, when certain fight or flight instincts arise, it was best to fight; even it was likely to be a futile endeavor. An example would be the present situation. To stay and foster a more protective instinct in a Circus student or to flee from the confrontation and cultivate a more predatory mind set in already volatile beings.

It did not take a genius to figure which Circus will benefit more from. To retrain natural hunters and have them become productive citizens, mainly by redirecting their mindset to what would be 'appropriate targets,' was a lofty endeavor. It was not all of Circus students but most of the very best would fall under the type.

The two behind him were prime examples. Under the thin veneer of civility, he felt it. But, by some odd circumstance, both students 'liked' him somehow. And in some twisted sort of way chose to 'protect' him. Weather it is to toughen him up or make him more sociable, neither were welcome attentions. Unwelcome but unavoidable attentions. Which brought him back to the present.

A movement to his left had him turning to his right, moving away. At least attempted to. A patronizing smile on thin lips greeted his sight. White Kuronomei uniform pressed to perfection and dark hair almost hiding mischievous eyes. The smirk and confidence irked him. Add to that, was that two 18 year olds were as tall as him and more than likely stronger than him. In a one on one, he might be able to hold off each for a while, emphasis on the "for a while." Enough to distract and run or hide. He had the skills to match but not the power, and he knew both of them were well beyond him. If need be, in really emergency cases, he can take either one down but not for prolonged fights and never head-on. The two at the same time, not a good situation. Both concentrated on him, there was no way he was getting away from this even if he wanted to.

"Maybe the 'Circus' best' would like to train more so that the same situation does not happen again." He challenged with a glare at both students. "If 'the best' that Circus can offer can lose a mere doctor, in the middle of Kuronomei, I truly despair for the future."

"Ah! As blunt as ever little Akari."

Akari stared at the taller redhead. He knew that he was not likely to get taller... "Did you have business with me or are you both in need of extra tasks to lift up your abysmal scores in your Medi2 class."

An arm slung over his shoulder and 2 bottles of amber liquid waved before him was his answer. It was an invitation for another Tsukitachi 'tea party.'

"I have no time to play with you. I have another- What are you doing Hirato?!"

Unnoticed, the inoculated dishes were placed in the incubator and all the samples were sealed and packed. An unrepentant Hirato placed the last of the used equipment in the sterilization bin. "And now we have time to chat."

"This is-"

First an arm on his shoulder, now a hand at the small of his back, he was not a delicate trinket to be treated as such. Yet, all he could do was wonder, if he read the two right, if the two knew what they were doing. He wasn't blind, though he knew at least one of the two was unaware. Their tentative forays in trying to insinuate themselves in his life was laughable. But then his own lack of interpersonal experience, books, laboratories, and fieldwork has dominated his life thus far, it was much like a pot calling the kettle. But then is he ready to let more people in? did he have a choice in the matter?

"F-fine" he answered. Trying to steady his voice. "I will go with you, but I have a meeting with the headmaster when he arrives later so it will have to be short."

AN: Sorry! No real Hirato x Akari action. I'm getting there… really… Please go to Faikitty and Azii! They have delicious action!


	5. Paths

You came to Kuronomei younger than most yet older as well. Youth was at your side, yet you were soul weary, it has aged where few ever see. Your estranged brother and you were the last of your family, and it was a burden that you hope will keep you on the right path.

Life had not been kind to you, but then a good teacher need not be kind. A pasted smile and sharp tongue, a devil-may-care attitude with an observant eye, a gentleman with a wicked streak, and it was all a game. A persona for the world to see and they all drank it in like it was the truth.

Even a clown in Circus can hold great power, what more the ringmaster, and you wanted that power. And you hate that part of yourself. This was your chance to start over but you knew yourself enough. Destruction was in your blood. That was why you chose the Circus course. No other course would have slackened your thirst. And you were both terrified and thrilled by the knowledge that is given to you now.

And that was the point where you met him.

An unlikely person, yet you could not just let him be. He was a series of contradictions that baffled you: fierce yet gentle, uninitiated yet a veteran, weak but strong. He was someone you wanted to look down on yet you can't help but follow. You understood him and you don't. He was entirely predictable then confounded you at every turn. And you laughed for the first time when he reprimanded you when you hurt yourself after a training exercise. No one had ever cared enough to be angry. And you found a part of yourself that you thought you had lost.

You had started to care for someone not yourself. Maybe there was hope for someone like you still and that was scarier than fighting varuga.

He was hope.

You wondered if he knew how important he was. You wondered if he knew that you were stalking him. You wondered what was wrong with you, yet you couldn't keep your eyes off him.

It rattled you, the first time you found him bleeding in the infirmary. Rage made the world turn the colour of his shirt, followed quickly with confusion. He affected you more than you thought. You promised yourself that you would never let yourself be so helplessly impotent to protect him.

Years later, as you stand on the bridge of your Airship, you wonder how much of whom you were then were shaped by him. Sometimes you wonder who was protecting whom…

And you asked him.

"Don't misunderstand Hirato. Your brother is the 'Grand Manipulator,' you can claim 'Magnificent Bastard' and Tsukitachi can claim 'the Ham.' Leave me out of your musings."

AN: A little off I think…(re-edited)


	6. What they remember

They both remembered that day. It had been a very ordinary day at Kuronomei Academy. The lectures had been informative, but generally boring. It had all been in the references on the syllabus that they gave at the start of the unit. The physical aspect of the course had been better, not that it took that much effort for either of them. It was a means to an end, nothing more.

They did not particularly get along with each other. The taller redhead had too much energy, the darker glasses wearing acted too dubious. Yet, as they started at the same time, and shared the same dormitory, they had no choice but to interact. The fact that they were of the same age, and were the only ones who could stand each other long enough to work with each other may also have some bearing to it…

Though they have never met him, they have both heard of the 'arrogant and overbearing life medicine faculty member.' And they have pretty much the "take down the idiot if he got in the way" view. But that was neither here nor there as they have yet to have that particular unit.

It had been a routine case for Circus, a joint case with the security force. Their class had been divided and, once again, Hirato and Tsukitachi had been paired together for the Circus course team. The Life Medicine team was a pair that had barely lifted their heads from their portable consoles. Standard barrier cloaks with the medical team insignia on, though not activated. The waved 'Akari' and 'Murasaki' was all that they knew of them. There was no R&D or Information Management course students but as this case had little exposure to both fields, it was just as expected.

Both wore their standard, Circus barrier jackets on. Though it was a low priority case, it was still a field class and accidents can and may happen anytime. And an accident did happen.

The whole operation had been compromised and three of the five full fledge Circus representatives were down. The smugglers were aware of the Circus and had placed measures for them. There was varuga about and that had not been accounted for. The two full Circus members had most of the area under control but there were still a few smugglers out and about. They were left to 'babysit' the Life Medicine team in the chaos. This was a misnomer however as they watched one of the members as he threw off his hood and marched towards the injured Circus and security force members.

One by one, he assessed each patient and either patched them up or passed it on to his partner.

"Oi, whichever you, don't go too far. We're still within an operation zone." Tsukitachi called out to the strawberry blonde man. "Don't get too enthusiastic on your first field day."

"The name is Akari. And, if you have no intention in helping then don't get in my way" the other ordered, not even looking up from his current patient. "Murasaki, this one is stable too. Just leave a sensor on him and check vitals q15. Tell me if you find any vitals dropping, I don't like his breathing."

Murasaki, not missing a beat, did as he was told as his partner moved on. As if not even hearing Tsukitachi, the blonde was moving again to another fallen man.

Only to be stopped by a smiling Hirato. "Hey there! Slowdown will you."

Opalescent eyes glared at him. "Are you not here to 'babysit' us Life Medicine personnel? Then do your part. If you can't do it, then as I said, stay out of our way. We have a duty to perform."

"It will be more beneficial for both sides if you limited your eagerness." Hirato tried again. "They came with varuga and we really wouldn't want to see either of you harmed."

"And it would be best if you quit while you're ahead Hirato."

Both students whirled around weapons drawn, only to be greeted by a Circus officer, well recognized in the school, in full gear. "Whoa! Calm down kiddies. The cavalry has arrived."

"You are late."

"Aw, come now little Akari" the brunet tried as he made calming motions at the other, hands raised and smile in place.

"Go grab your future soldiers and let me do my job."

"No, this will be a good exercise for them." The officer grinned and motioned for Hirato and Tsukitachi. "Mission. You are now to follow and protect Life Medicine Researcher Akari Dezart. Keep him safe at all cost as he does his duty. Eliminate any who attempt to harm the him."

Both student stared at the officer. The officer was not phased. "Is there a problem?"

"P-pardon sir!" Tsukitachi boggled.

"I think this batch is a bit slow 'Tatsu, even if you are related." Akari bemoaned from behind them. "They seem to have difficulty grasping orders."

"With all due respect sir, but this type of order just to defend a researcher?" Hirato inserted, trying to diffuse the situation. "Is that not a bit extreme? We can disable them easily."

"I have no time for your squabbles." Akari sniped in a huff. "'Tatsu, send them over when you're done."

"Oh no you don't little Akari." Tsukitachi cut in grabbing the fleeing doctor around the waist, which was the last thing he said as his world faded into black.

Hirato seeing his partner drop moved to disable the doctor only to see the world tilt and disappear.

"Now, did you really need to do that Akari?" The last thing he heard.

As first impressions went it didn't go over-well for Akari., but definitely piqued the interest of both students. It wasn't every day that a mere Life Medicine researcher, practically unheard of to have a Life Medicine centered personnel, with enough combat capability enough to knock out a Circus combatant, student or no. Unless they were hidden combatants in Life Medicine, which was unlikely with the last order that was given.

It had been a big surprise for both when they met him again in one of their Life Medicine lectures. The name Akari wasn't that rare but still. The interesting researcher was the 'arrogant and overbearing' lecturer for that day.

"Welcome to the Field Medic lecture 1 of 5. My lectures will comprise 84% of your midterms and 39% of your finals. I will attempt to impart to you knowledge that might save your or another's life in the future. Or at least teach you enough to not become burdens to the Life Medicine personnel."

Life was just full of surprises.

* * *

AN: And this is why the last was a bit on the short side. Akari should be around 20 here and Tsuki and Hirato 14… They met Yogi when he was 10 so they were 16 at that time, already better circus fighters by then, compared to 14 at least… According to some sources, unconfirmed though, Akari has been a researcher for at least 15 years, meaning since he was 18.

BTW if anyone is interested chapter 17 of Karnevalesque is up and is a must read. Broke my heart there Azii. Also, SALIGIA chapter 2 with sweet Akari.(fangirl squee)


	7. He who fights monsters

In the depths of the Kuronomei, there are places that students are not allowed; from private apartments for visiting officials to laboratories of such delicate experiments that a single mishap would have destroyed the whole test. The information Management course has prided itself in its ability to know everything within the walls of the Academy. The ability to hack into the Academy server to extract information on these special places was a badge of honour to any student capable enough. Akari would like to keep that illusion intact.

To teach inquiring minds was a joy, may hap a little off-putting when dealing with brats of the more recent batch, Tatsu's brother being one of them. But, of all his official duties, teaching was the one he liked the most, it made him feel like the doctor that he touted on his title. Better than the butcher that he really was.

If Circus is the arm of the government that dirties their hands to keep the people safe then the Research division was the arm that bloodies theirs to keep Circus unharmed.

He studiously washes his hands clean. Given a choice he would have grabbed a brush to scour his skin, as if that would make it cleaner. It was an obsession that had its roots from when he was still a student and his descent to darkness began. All it did was turn his pale hands raw and red.

The rooms were incongruous to the actual deeds that take place in it. Several rooms were bright, sterile, and smelled of antiseptic. Another room smelled of formaldehyde. He had worked in all of them. He knew what he was getting himself into. The decision to walk into those rooms every time didn't become any easier each time.

Even in the quiet halls of the Research tower he could still hear the screech of the varuga that once were human in his head. If he were a kind man he would have ended their pain. If he had an ounce of pity he should have killed them, but he was way beyond that now. Every trickle of information that he could wring from their dying bodies, these failed experiments that were no better than animals now, was one more drop of data for him to use to help Circus defend themselves from them.

So he steels himself, grits his teeth as he takes samples, and goes about his experiments as if the screams were nothing more than white noise.

Years later, when he could honestly say that he no longer skirted the edge of becoming one of the monsters of the same ilk as the creators of varuga, Akari wonders if all he has done had been enough. He can still see the grotesque bodies in his mind's eye, still hear the cries in his nightmares, still have tainted hands. He had given up so much and could barely recognize the person in the mirror now, yet they were no closer to ending the war.

A delicate nip of teeth at his nape sent shivers down his spine as a cool hand traces a path from his shoulder down his arm to entwine callused fingers with his own. A warm body pressed against his back. A gentle nuzzling of his hair and then a lick at the shell of his ear. He didn't need to open his eyes to know that hungry dark eyes would meet his. And this was his answer, if it was worth it all.

He still scrubbed his hands raw. He will never be clean. But for every nightmare he lived, he knew, somewhere, a child was saved. They will never thank him, it was Circus they thanked, and he won't begrudge them. He never asked for anything anymore.

It was small, but it was a separate peace and it was enough for someone like him.

* * *

_The more gentle and nice we make it look, the more vicious the story can be._

— **Edmund Mc Millen**

* * *

AN: If you look at it, if Akari really is one of the top researchers in the government, then this chapter really is a possibility. But at least it has some HiratoxAkari in it. Sort off... Err... don't hurt me please... Trying my best here...


	8. Lamp Unto my Feet 1

Gold

Yogi's earliest memories of his life in Circus were filled with pain and the image of a beautiful man. Whenever he woke from the pain, the slight smile on the man's blood splattered face struck fear in him. How could he be happy?

He hated him.

He feared him.

Yogi could never understand how all the other Circus members can look at him as if he was the light in their dark world. He wasn't dumb, but he wasn't very bright either. He knew that for all that he hated the man; he really was one of the hopes for their side. But still…

Though he had a face that turned heads, he was a scary man who does not care for the pain that he inflicts on others. He knew he owed his life to the brilliant researcher, many of them did. It was just hard for him to understand why at the end of the day, no matter how much he feared him, he was glad that it was his face that he saw. Because for all that he feared the man, there was no other that any of them can trust with their life.

The hand that heals was the one that he wanted to see… even if he can only look at his legs most of the time.

* * *

Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror …

* * *

Silver

Yogi's earliest memories of his life in Circus were filled with pain and the image of a beautiful man. Whenever that uncontrollable part of himself flared, that man would be there trying to ease the hurt and stop him from hurting others. He remembered enough of that time wherein he hurt the man enough to draw blood, yet still his faint smile before the world grew dark made those moments precious.

He adored him.

He dreaded for his safety.

He could never understand how anyone could not see the light that the man held for those who lived in this dark world. The man held their lives in the palm of his hand, and he did not even need cradle cells to do so.

The man held the power to end his life, yet he never did. And for that he will forever follow him.

* * *

Beauty is power.

* * *

AN: Again on the rough side. Part 1 of the Lamp unto My Feet

Quotes from: Rainer Maria Rilke, _Duino Elegies and _Chuck Palahniuk, _Invisible Monsters_


	9. Lamp Unto my Feet 2

Red

Amongst the leaders in their organization, there are those that Tsukitachi would follow and those who he would rather bury. He wasn't naïve enough to think that they all worked for the same thing. That was why he was in the Circus course. At least most, if not all, of the people who entered the course had that one goal in mind, the destruction of Varuga and the end of Kafka.

It was rare to find the same feelings and drive in others, especially the vaunted Life Medicine and Information Management course people. He had little to no respect for the other branches of the government. But sometimes one or two would be the exception to that rule.

Once in a while, in their world of conniving and egoistic people there would be a few who are worth following even when they are not from the Circus course. Someone who knew the truth of being a part of Circus.

His white coat was a sharp contrast to their dark cloaks but he was there with them, though he was not one of them. He worked tirelessly in the background, and when given a chance led them.

He bled with them.

Tsukitachi knew he was meant to lead in Circus, but he also knew that there were those meant to lead but were far too important to be placed in the front lines. People who knew the reality of their world were few and far between. He was glad that when he left Kuronomei there was someone there who will never be part of Circus but understood them all the same.

* * *

Beauty is truth, truth beauty

* * *

AN: And part 2.. Now it's all looking like drabbles! Yay!


	10. A Dance

The lights were low and the music was soft. He watched the show from his secluded niche by the live band that was chosen for the night. So far he had been able to hide away

He watched the two newly minted Airship captains put on a show on the dance floor. It was a sight to behold. It was the tango, and an incredibly sensual one at that. Watching the two flirt and tease their partners with every movement they did in the name of the dance, it was beauty in motion. Though both had their promotions given at different times, there had been too many missions to complete that neither captain could set aside time to attend an inauguration ball.

Like always, he spent the bulk of the celebration in a non-obtrusive corner of the hall. Not that he did not enjoy formal activities, as much as he enjoyed a emergency c-section for tetanic contraction operation, but this was something important to his two former students. And for all that their attitudes irked him, they were one of the best that he has ever taught. A part of him felt pride on how the two turned out, though he still felt he needed to take them down a notch or two sometimes. Tonight though, this was theirs and he knew enough that the only way either would come out of this night unscathed would be for him to leave them well enough alone.

He was a wet blanket, that much about himself he knew. There was a reason why he only attended these sort of things but never spoke. He would rather attend a convention. At least there he could care less if he made an enemy out of all the attendees. Here, where many of the "higher ups" rubbed elbows, he could not chance making too many, not that they could touch him. But unfortunately, strawberry blond hair did not lend itself to fading into the background. He was found easily enough by a former first captain.

"Surely we haven't bored you to tears already little Akari."

Akari always wondered if he had a target sign painted on him. It seemed like no place could ever hide him, not when Tokitatsu wanted to find him.

"I see little point in my being here," he answered. "I could spend a more productive evening in the Research Tower or Vinto."

"True, but appearances needs to maintained."

"And the nightingale needs to be paraded."

Tokitatsu give him a smile, not the one he used when working with the Tower Masters or his own superior, but the one they shared when they worked together in Kuronomei. "A very mute nightingale at the moment."

"I am sure they would prefer that," he returned as he took a sip off his Chianti, which he had nursed for most of the night, not wanting to have even a slight buzz that evening. "So what brings you here? I doubt you just wanted to bring up old times."

"Surely I can still invite you to dance."

Akari pressed his lips together and wondered why this was happening now. They were speaking in code, and he never liked that. It was the code Tatsu made him learn when he told him of his grand schemes for the future. Sometimes he wondered if Information Management would have been a better choice for his friend, though the results he garnered in Circus was no laughing matter. "A lovers tryst by the gardens?"

A full out grin met his answer. He would have hit his friend for having the gall of leading him out with a hand at the small of his back, had he not decided that they needed to be discrete. He mourns his reputation, as he knows someone would be watching them. Who it was did not matter, he will hear about it in the morning.

* * *

Hirato found these balls as exercises in patience. He had found early on that Circus, for good or for ill, was his life. This aspect of it was not the part that he preferred.

Give him a mission, preferably solo, and let them all watch the carnage. None of his real stories were for polite conversation, and very few here really wanted to know what the newly minted captains actually did.

They were on display tonight and he had the pick of men, or women, to bed as they threw themselves at him and Tsukitachi. Had it been any other night they would have obliged, played the game, and left them. The game of conquest has never lost its sweetness.

Had it been any other night.

That night they were on unofficial duty. It was their induction ball, and they had a ballroom full of high ranking officials, their significant others, their aids, and their heirs. True, rank 3 and below were the ones in charge of such situations, but there was a SSS rank present, whether the other would admit to that designation or not did not matter.

Hirato and Tsukitachi had both taken turns watching over their once-upon-a-time professor that evening. It was much like when they were still students and they always kept an eye out for that fiery blonde who sometimes became so consumed in helping others that he no longer saw the danger to himself. It had vexed them to no end that their professor would conveniently forget how much more important he was than those he sought to protect. It was a matter of opinion, they were once told. They both inwardly seethed at that. Now that the other gained the SSS rank, and about time they had both agreed, his security was utterly in question.

Hirato had always thought that the blonde's looks and personality would have made him stand out, just like in the academy or the Research Tower. It had surprised him to see their professor suddenly become a wallflower. In fact, had Tsukitachi not informed him where Akari had hidden himself after his dance, there was no other way to describe it, he would not have noticed the blonde. Sometimes he forgets that the Research Tower director knew how to disappear like a good Circus fighter. It was easy to forget, looking at the primly suited doctor, that the man once ran with the best of them, albeit not as a combatant but even his own brother worked with the doctor on the field and that said something.

That was not important though. Hirato wasn't sure to sigh in relief or irritation when he watched his brother strike up a conversation with the researcher. For one, Akari was definitely safer. He may not be on the field anymore but Tokitatsu was still a Circus combatant. On the other hand, his brother had enough enemies on his own.

As he watched his brother lead Akari out of the hall, a part of him wanted to break the hand that touched the blondes back. He had made his intentions clear when he left Kuronomei, at least as clear as he was wont. The scoffed reply had been expected, though he had a feeling the blond did not get that he had been confessed to, in a backhanded way albeit, but he still meant to make good on his word. He knew he lived on borrowed time so he had no intention of letting the blonde escape him; the thought that Akari also lived on borrowed time was bitter pill for him to swallow.

A quick tap on his collar to signal to Tsukitachi that he was trailing their quarry and he made himself scarce.

* * *

The balcony was deserted, and sure enough, a hitsuji stood at attention. "Off limits, off limits"

"Stand down. Continue with security measures. Filter and delete Akari and Tokitatsu until further notice. Commence."

"They really should remove your security clearance. You abuse it." Tokitatsu laughed as he moved behind the researcher.

Normally, he would have bristled at such invasion of his personal space, normally did not seem to apply to both brothers. There were few things he has given up as lost causes. Stalking by his students, former students now captains Hirato and Tsukitachi, being teased and annoyed by Hirato, being moved like a chess piece by Tokitatsu, and having no measure of personal space with all three of them. It wasn't as bad with Tsukitachi, he was much like a large puppy, if puppies had fangs, claws… maybe not a puppy then.

Akari massaged his temples to stave of the headache that he knew was coming, that or him lashing out at his friend. "You do know your brother followed us out, right?"

"My, he is so very possessive of you." He moved as if he was cornering the blond to the balustrade. Akari had been in the same position many a time and knew to those around it looked like a picture of lovers cuddling by the balcony. It was anything but. Tokitatsu had him covered from behind with his own barrier-suited body, the hitsuji stood guard at his sides, and Tatsu's hands at a ready in front of him. He was as well protected as could be.

"I am not so helpless that I would need protection in the middle of an inauguration of Circus' two rank 1 Officers." Akari has long stopped fighting this brother, appearances be damned. "Don't tease your brother too much Tatsu. "

"Yes, I might accidentally shoot you down." The low growl contained enough menace that Akari wondered if a varuga was present.

Under the polite exterior Akari knew the brothers enough to know how dangerous both were. The gentlemanly sometimes-careless façade was just that, a mask. It infuriated him that both made it a point to supersede his decisions at times, true he was likely ill equipped to fight the likes of them head-on, few were, but he was no damsel in distress.

He watched in amusement as the brothers sniped at each other, and for once he did not need to intervene for some poor Circus personnel caught in the crossfire. He was safe right where he was.

He was safe until an explosion shook them.

* * *

In a sea of people who would bend to their charms and will, Researcher Akari was one of the few who walked his own path. That was what the brothers learned in the time that they worked with the man. So it was not so much a surprise for them to see the blonde already staring at the direction of the explosion with a grim expression.

"You are not going. We will have a Kuppi ready to transport you back to the Tower."

A raised brow and twist of pale lips faced him. His brother's knowing look did not help.

"Hirato, for a researcher, when a patient is before you, that's when you are given a mission. Have I not taught you that or is that to hard for your protozoan intellect?"

There were times when the man's willfulness truly left him helpless, confounded, and ready to tie up the man to be wrapped in a futon and left in the deepest basement of the Kuronomei compound. The same times when he wanted to haul the man to his rooms and keep him there until they were both sated. Neither one was happening anytime soon.

That night was a learning experience for all of them. For Tsukitachi, it was that he will have to play liaison between the brothers, the elder teased the younger too much. For Tokitatsu, it was he has much to teach his brother if he wanted him to survive Akari's bullheadedness. For Hirato, it was varuga was a lot easier to deal with than a researcher who has scented blood. For Akari, it was that people can be incredibly stupid and who would mix fine flour and fire?

* * *

AN: And now we start the courting... Err yeah... And again, it's a bit raw and expect some re-edits along the way. Veerrrryyy long winded. And yeah... Um just a heads up. There'll be something like another series fic beside this that will reference some parts... so yeah. And Oh gosh Azii dedicated a chapter to meeeee! Karnevalesque! Now! Ciao!


	11. Damsel in distress not!

They didn't have enough time.

No one expected the attack. It wasn't even a prominent research laboratory, just an ordinary one that didn't even dabble in cradle cell research. It was a routine visit, a one-day inspection. Everyone had thought the place was secure. He wasn't even the one assigned to do it but he had been waiting for his assistants to finish data entry before he could continue so he had a bit of time. The researcher in charge of the inspection had had an accident and he was one of the few who knew enough of this particular laboratories main study that it was a foregone thing. He didn't know who leaked the information or if it was by random chance, unlikely but not impossible, but it had happened and now he needed to think fast.

The post animal varuga were not that particularly strong at least compared to other varuga types. Stronger than most people but they were neither intelligent nor skilled. It was simply the sheer number of the varuga against the unprepared research staff that stacked the odds against survival. Many have died already; this research center did not have researchers trained from Kuronomei, and it showed when panic had set in the moment the varuga started eating them.

Akari already calculated the survival rate to be less than what he wished. The likeliness of a rescue before the varuga absorbs them all was also nil. The Kuppi that he had come in in was at the other end of the compound, where the attack started. His own cellphone had been destroyed in his last scuffle with the varuga, and with that his GPS tracking. Any communication to Circus or the Research Tower was lost. All forms of communication were either down or unreachable.

He took a quick rundown of his options as he took a breather, hiding in a mostly untouched cafeteria kitchen. He was alive and mostly fine, no notable wounds though he knew his back and side will be sporting some interesting colours in a few hours. He had grabbed a few candy bars from the Research Tower, breakfast had been rushed, and the coffee he had at the start of the meeting still had him pumped. He didn't have any viable weaponry that would quickly exterminate the post -animal varuga. And even if he did he knew he was not proficient enough to take on the hoard. Now it was a game of hide and seek.

A quick glance at the drawers, skipping over the Chinese cleaver for obvious reasons, he grabbed the sashimi knife and debated on taking the santoku knife. It was not anyone's first choice in fighting off monsters but what he did lack in power he can make up for in planning and skill. He didn't survive being on the field hiding behind the Circus fighters. It sucked to be the ordinary person in a group wielding special abilities, what would take a simple flick of their wrist was half a dozen strikes for him.

One last look around his safe haven, Akari slipped out the kitchen delivery service door and took in his bearings. The nearest town was south, but that was a death trap with its open road and fields. The forest east of the compound would have been ideal, it had a town beyond, farther but still a town, but there was the hoard between them. North was the gorge and try as he might he never did learn how to fly. West was the last choice, which was no choice at all, another forest but no town only more trees and animals, which suited him just fine.

He had better survive this or Tatsu will laugh his head off and the brats would worry.

* * *

For a massacre it was incredibly clean, most would think that blood and gore would be a staple but as all DNA materials are taken, not even a hair seemed to have been left behind. This would be a normal investigation, had it concerned normal people. It was an open and shut case, a varuga attack in a research facility, nothing new.

This was so until the team found the Kuppi in the hanger. Kuppi's were Research Tower exclusive transportation; to have one in the middle of a newly reported attack was bad. To discover that it carried ranking personnel was worse. To finally figure out the identity of the passengers included an important person in your life, unthinkable.

Tsukitachi gripped his cellphone and wondered, not for the first and definitely not the last time, if choosing the first Airship had been the right choice. It wasn't his business but he knew it would be best to tell his friend now, rather than him finding out from some idiot from the government or worse from his brother.

As he walked around the perimeter of the facility he entered his friend's number.

"Hirato, we have a problem."

"Tsukitachi, I'm in the middle of a mission." A loud crash and roar could be heard from the background. "If it's for a tea party the answer is no. I know Akari is in the middle of a breakthrough he won't have time to even lift his head to insult you."

"And how did you know that?" It had always surprised him how Hirato knew where their taciturn researcher was; more often than not he was correct. "Even I couldn't hack that out of the Tower servers!"

A chuckle and more crashing sounds could be heard. "Nurses are very chatty."

"You seduced an innocent woman to get little Akari's schedule…"

"And there is a point to this call?"

He often wondered if his friend really understood that sleeping around wasn't likely to endear him to Akari let alone have him consider him as a potential partner. Which brings him back to the reason for the call.

"Your source is faulty and you better hope I have better news for you…" Tsukitachi trailed off as his eyes grew at the sight before him. It was an odd thing to find outside a kitchen and the light just hitting it right as he passed the wooded area caught his attention. A post animal struggled futilely against a tree, a blade passed through its midsection and impaled it to the bark. That in itself was not unusual. It was the weapon of choice. None in his team used that particular knife, he was positive no one would. The blade was too light and delicate, a fugu hiki. It was a working knife, not some thing of beauty, it was good at what it does, It sliced cleanly through the varuga. He was no knife connoisseur but he did remember one of the two knives that his friend kept sharp in his oft unused kitchen. Their little researcher never ceases to surprise him.

"Hirato, hold that thought."

* * *

One after the other the varuga fell.

Hirato was annoyed.

Vermin.

These unmentionable vermin, dared to harm what was his.

He had gone out for a solo mission to confirm a lead; he had always preferred to see things through himself. Raiding the warehouse had not been in the plan. He was going to leave that to his children. Let them have some fun. Tsukitachi's call had ruined that plan spectacularly

Hirato has always prided himself in his ability to keep in control of any situation, be it in reality or as a mere illusion. This was not one of those moments.

Another post animal charged at him. And had anyone been around they would have been treated to a sight that has not seen daylight since Hirato graduated from kuronomei. A fierce grin of someone revelling in his actions dancing in the middle of swarming varuga. Blood and body parts flew as he let himself go. His standard operating procedures called for finesse, which was the last thing he wanted, he simply wanted to lay carnage to the place. His warning to those who commanded the varuga that they were stepping on a landmine.

This was personal.

These things. These insects brought this all to themselves. None of them will escape him. Their ilk will suffer until what was his was returned.

The floor was litter with wriggling, and shuddering bodies and parts by the time he finished. Puddles of fluid swirled around black boots as it made its way out of the building. The unsettling grin was now back to the oft seen smile, like such a thing was but a figment of some dark author's imaginings. Now he had cleared his mind he was ready to face humans again.

Now, it was time to look for his lovely Akari.

* * *

The whole rescue operation was anticlimactic as rescues went.

Tokitatsu went through the reports that came in from the first Airship. In truth, he knew that there was a lot that the First Ship Captain did not include in the report. He had seen some of the video footage from the security cameras from the facility. From the reports it was nothing more than a varuga attack with one of their own research member being accidentally present. Watching the feeds brought home what ink and paper could never fully convey something many of the paper pushers who has never taken the field will never see.

He paused on the part he had been searching for. Considering little Akari's build and coloring, it has always amazed him how well the good doctor could just slip away. The varuga barely had time to react before the blades had them. There were no wasted strikes, the precision made Tokitatsu smile. Very much like Akari to know where the weaknesses are. Had the man been interested in joining Circus and not the Life Medicine course he would have been an asset in the field. But Akari never had the raw ruthlessness that would have brought him to the rank of Captain. After all is said and done Akari had chosen to save lives.

"Tokitatsu-sama, the meeting at Round Table Z is about to start."

Akari's battle for the day is done. Now it was his turn.

"Make sure no one deletes these video footage's. This meeting will be interesting. Let's see if we can crack some rose tinted glasses today."

* * *

There was only the quiet hiss of the door to warn him of the others presence. The march like cadence of Hirato's heels on the metal floor was muffled and Akari wondered if it was just that he was tired. He knew the adrenaline rush was gone and the resulting backlash was sapping him, not to mention the "water" that Tsukitachi had him drink. Hirato could learn a lot from Tsukitachi in ways to persuade people. A smiling face went a long way; of the two of them he was more wary of Tsukitachi. The boy did not become the First Airship Captain by licking boots.

"Sleep."

He forced his eyes open and it felt like the hardest thing that he could ever do. "Not sleepy!"

Even with his sleep addled mind the mingled scent of blood and oranges that came from the young captain was oddly comforting. It meant life, the man was well enough to kill, to survive, to annoy him while he tried to sleep or not sleep.

A low chuckle and fingers carding through his hair was his answer. The sharp intake of breath and gentle hands turning him over almost had him fighting sleep again till he remembered. Right, he had forgotten his colourful back, it was probably turning blue/black by then, nothing to worry about. Akari knew he didn't need to tell the other that it was nothing. Nothing like what Hirato had suffered himself in battle. So he let it be. It didn't matter anyway. He was the doctor, so he knew better.

As darkness crept up around him, he wondered if Hirato will stay. He'd like that.

It had been lonely without his stalkers.

* * *

AN: Tokitatsu had only been the head of the Security for 5 years from the manga timeline and it was only then that the Life Medicine and Circus started to have a better relationship. I can imagine a lot of infighting between the two groups before that time. The little to no respect that Tsuki had in his chapter would be something that I can see running through many of the Circus personnel would feel towards those outside their group. The "better relationship" observed in the manga somehow ties in with the "good relationship" between Tokitatsu and Akari, also with the Captains. So I can't imagine Tatsu letting this incident slide.

Finally had the time to sit and write. 7 day work weeks with double shifts and on-call kills creative juices. Again another rough one. Next Faith, then 3 requests/Prompt(Tsuki/Hira, Mako/Haru{Free!} and Tatsu/Akari/Hira), and a review prompt... I need an energy bar... T.T

Ciao!


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